PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT: DEFINE YOUR SUCCESS CIRCLE

Do you surround yourself with people who give you strength, inspire you, and motivate you to want to do better?  Unfortunately, so many people have as their “core group” individuals (or so called friends and associates) who are negative towards them, resentful and extremely critical of them.   It’s almost like having your ‘enemies’ at your side throughout the day.  Let me define “core group” for you.  These are the people that we speak to or hang around with on a regular basis.  These are the people who we allow to give us their opinions on almost any and everything in our lives.  When it comes to choosing who you let into your “core group” you had better make sure that there is no envy, distrust, bitterness, or latent agenda there.  In other words, make sure that person LIKES you as much as they say they LOVE you.  I always say that it is a big advantage to be cognizant of the fact that a person does not “like you” or care for you because you can make it a point to stay out of their path.  However, when we open up the floodgate and allow individuals into our core circle, we then give them access to our personal feelings - our minds, our hearts,  our thoughts - and they in turn, feel that they can say whatever they please ‘to us’ about us. . … and this is not always a good thing. 

Someone who should not be in your inner core circle is a person who:

(1)    Is negative, condescending, talks about others, and don’t have plans for their future.

(2)  Brings back negative gossip to you – on a regular basis- about what others are saying about you.

(3)  Demonstrates time after time that there is a hint of jealously in the relationship.

(4)  Always speaks about limiting thoughts and how things will probably never change. 

(5)  Tells you what is not possible for you based on their experiences and that of other people they know.

    

What you have to do instead is to surround yourself with people who give you strength and inspire you!  Surround yourself with individuals who have “converted” their way of thinking to a positive mindset.  Remember, we should only be focusing on the positive aspects of life.  You should only focus on what you actually want to happen in your life, instead of what you do not want.  So I guess it’s now time to ask you today’s big question, and it is this:  Who are your top 4 – 5 closest friends, associates, coaches, and/or advisers that are active in your life?  In other words, who has access to your ear and your heart ….. whose words, thoughts, ideals, and concepts are you allowing to penetrate your mind?  Who are you aligned with mentally?  Oh, I bet you never thought about that one.  But hear me when I say this:  The people that you allow into your personal circle – friends, family, associates - are the ones who will have a major impact on your future success.  They are the people who will either bring you down, or build you up.  So which do you have?  Do you have negative minded people in your circle that focuses on your weaknesses rather than on what you have become?  Are there individuals in your core circle who always seem to find a way to remind you - on a daily bases- of your shortcomings?  Or, do you have people who inspire and motivate you to keep going in spite of the challenges?  I always say, "You are only as strong as the weakest link in your chain"(your core circle that is).  Accordingly, it is crucial to your future success path that you align yourself with positive minded people and only allow into your “core circle” those individuals who like you as a person and are also on some sort of a journey to success themselves. 

Take some time right now and form your core support circle.  Identify 4 – 5 people who will inspire, support, and help you on your journey to success.  Eliminate those people who are critical of you, who are negative thinkers, complainers, stuck in the past and refuse to upgrade their mindsets.  I’m not saying you shouldn’t be friends with these types of people, however, I am advising you that you should not have them in your ear on a regular bases.  

       

My Core Circle:

(1)   _______________________________________________

(2)  _______________________________________________

(3)  _______________________________________________

(4)  _______________________________________________

(5)  _______________________________________________

To your success,

Dr. Amy
The Prescription To Reach Abundant Success

A LITTLE NUGGET FOR YOUR NEWLY FORMED POSITIVE MINDSET

.... Always believe that you deserve nothing but the best.
Accept Nothing Less!  

Your Success Coach,

Dr. Amy
The Prescription To Reach Abundant Success

PERSONAL GROWTH: DEVELOPING THE CHARACTERISTICS OF A SUCCESSFUL INDIVIDUAL

Here are some Major characteristics of successful people.

1. Successful People do what unsuccessful people are NOT willing to do.
2. Successful People Perform Simple Daily Disciplines
3. Successful People make Positive Use of the Infinite Network
4.  Successful People do not feel sorry for themselves or others.
5.  Successful People provide the road map for others to follow.
6.  Successful People question their way to the top.
7.  Successful  People have a mission statement (a vision), which they review daily, and perform their daily actions accordingly.  This falls squarely into goal-setting. Always know where you are going in life.
8.  Successful People know when to inspect what they expect.
9.  Successful People are masters of empathy, rather than sympathy.  There are differences between the two.                         ---Sympathy is knowing how someone is feeling in a certain situation by becoming a congruent match for the other person’s state. Sympathy is akin to trying to rescue a drowning person by jumping in with them.                                     ---Empathy is knowing how they are feeling without being sucked in with them.  Empathy is similar to rescuing them by offering a life preserver.
10.  Successful People are masters of the mundane.  Every great venture or enterprise is built upon fundamentals. In order to be wildly successful in anything, you must first master the basics.
11. Successful People make their primary associations with like minded successful people.
12. Successful People are always a part of Mastermind Groups. 
13. Successful People learn to model those that have the success they seek.  Modeling is by far the most powerful success strategy there is. Rather than trial-and-error to get where you want to go, why not build on the already-done trial-and-error that today’s successful people have done?
14. Successful People respect the value of their own dreams and goals, and know where they are going in life. 
15. Successful People believe in the power of continuous Personal Development.   

Which of these characteristics do you still need to work on?  

Send me an email and let me know.

Your Success Coach,

Dr. Amy

GOALSETTING: ARE YOU ON TRACK FOR 2017?

Are you still excited about all of the possibilities for your 2017?   This year is filled with possibilities for the future.  As a psychologist and prosperity coach I often ask individuals that I come into contact with this question, "What is your definition of success?"  I ask this question as often as I can because it's so very important to realize that we will not achieve what we want out of life until we clearly define what it is that we desire.  In other words, you need to know what success looks like to you so you can determine how to get there.  And the route to getting there is by setting appropriate goals that will both inspire and stretch you to the next level in life.  Since this is a new year, I would be remiss if I did not give you some basic strategies to prepare for the future you desire by setting some appropriate goals.

Benjamin Franklin knew the value of preparation, he once said, “By failing to prepare you are preparing to fail.”  Planning and preparation are essential ingredients to success and will give you a 10-times greater chance to achieve your goals. It will reduce wasted time and effort, while improving and maximizing results. Goal-setting strategy is generally accepted as one of the most valid and useful motivation techniques in personal development, and much of goal-setting research is connected to motivation in sports and business management. Know that an effective goal is whatever, YOU decide is important to you - not what I, or anyone else desires for you.  Goal-setting is the process of setting targets for accomplishment; including WHAT you desire, HOW you plan to accomplish it, and WHEN you will complete the objectives.  Goal-setting is so powerful because it will provide you with focus. It a way to shape your dreams, and will give you the ability to hone in on the exact tasks and actions you will need to perform, in order to achieve the things you desire in life. Goal-setting done the correct way is a method to prepare you for when the opportunity comes. 

Some major benefits of goal-setting are:

1)  It serves as a tool to motivate you and will increase your energy level;

2) It can relieve boredom by always giving you something to focus on;

3) It outlines exactly what you are expecting out of life, and puts drive and passion into your life;

4)  It gives you direction in all areas of your life – personal, career, spiritual, and relationship; which will give you purpose in life and help you to be less stressed;

5) It will help you get closer to reaching self-actualization.

Not having goals is similar to sailing a ship across the Atlantic without a map.  Goals, like maps, help you to get to your destination much faster than sailing through life aimlessly. Actually, the most current research on goal-setting demonstrates that establishing clear-cut goals and a clear road map to accomplish those goals WILL in fact, contribute to a greater chance of achieving those goals and living a better life, and this is why goal-setting is so important to us as psychologists and success coaches.  Your goals must be clear, otherwise your subconscious mind will flounder. If you skip from one goal to another, your effort will be inefficient and counterproductive. Some examples of some great goals to work towards include:

• A Better job
• Improved Self-esteem  
• A New house
• Financial independence
• Enhanced Health & Wellness

Your goals should be set in four major categories: 

     (1)  Self-Development / Educational Goals

     (2)  Relationship / Family Goals

     (3)  Career / Business Goals

     (4)  Financial / Prosperity Goals

Here are the seven basic steps to goal setting:

Step 1:  Write your goals down on paper. 

Develop a goal mission statement for yourself.  Your goals should be SMART, which is it should be specific, measurable, action-oriented, realistic, and have a time frame for completion.  The goal should be specific enough so that you know exactly what you are striving for, measurable so that you can tell exactly when the goal has been reached, action oriented to indicate that an activity will produce results, and realistic in that it is practical ad can be achieved. 

Step 2:  Visualize the results of the goals and dreams in your mind.

Visualize where you want to go.  Imagine and think about how you would feel while living out your dream. Cut out pictures from magazines of the things you want and make a dream board for yourself.  Include pictures of all the places you want to go, the career you want to be in, and the material things you want to acquire. Visualize your goals as already accomplished, and close your mind to contrary thoughts.  You have to visualize your goals with the feelings of happiness, inner peace and joy.  By visualizing the results, the subconscious mind begins to work out the details of how it will actually be accomplished. Ideas and solutions will begin popping up from nowhere.  When you make a decision and begin focusing on achieving a specific goal, the powerful subconscious mind goes to work toying with ideas and developing strategies. 

Step 3: Define the goals in terms of behaviors & actions and list the goals as something measurable.

Determine what you will need to do to make your dream become a reality.  Express it as something that can be seen or quantified. Create a list of important things that need to be done in order to achieve the goal.   

Step 4:  Divide your goals into do-able steps.  

Goals without action steps are just fantasy dreams.  To achieve any goal it needs to be broken down into do-able smaller steps.  Now you will need to go back and break down each of the goals into small manageable tasks and actions that can be integrated into your life and daily schedule.

Step 5: Identify the People and Resources you will need to help you reach your goals. 

Determine what are the seminars and/or training CD’s that you can learn from to help you further create the mindset to reach your goals.  Who are the people that can help you grow?  Identify the people and resources and write them down. 

Step 6:  Set a timeline or time frame to achieve the goal

A goal is a dream with a date attached to it.  Until you assign a date for completion, they are just fantasy dreams.  So be sure to stamp a target completion date on all of your goals.

Step 7:  Take Effective Action

Now it is time to connect your thoughts with personal action!  As you start to move towards your goals, your dreams will start to move towards you.  Every thought that you think will send out a wave pattern and the subconscious mind will move into action. 

Written goals are a major part of success!  It’s time to get your mind in the right place to achieve your dreams and goals for 2011.  If your mindset is not in the right place then it’s time for you to study more, read more, hire a success coach and fight to become the person you want to be.

MY TOP FIVE GOALS FOR 2017:
#1:  ______________________________
#2: ______________________________
#3:  ______________________________
#4:  ______________________________
#5:  ______________________________

Your success coach,

Dr. Amy

The Prescription To Reach Abundant Success

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT: DO YOU KNOW WHAT BUTTERFLIES REPRESENT?

Butterflies are a symbol of resurrection, hope, joy, and new beginnings.  It is a symbol of rebirth and a transformation of change: meaning out with the old and in with the new.  Just like a caterpillar must go through several growth and development before it can become a beautiful butterfly, so must we go through several growth experiences in life before we experience our true purpose and get to a place of inner peace in life.  Like the caterpillar, many people have build a cocoon – a bubble or guard - around themselves (and around their hearts) and have not allowed themselves the opportunity to experience love, new things, and to psychologically grow and develop into the person they truly should be.  Just like it becomes necessary for the caterpillar to burst out of its own chrysalis – or cocoon like- surrounding and become the beautiful butterfly that it was meant to be, so must we break out of our comfort zone in order to become the predestined person that we were meant to become.  Just like butterflies go through a life cycle known as complete metamorphosis, so must we if we want to accomplish more than we ever have in our lives thus far.

Caterpillars face a major challenge as they grow because their skin cannot grow with them.  In order for a caterpillar to grow, develop, and change into the beautiful butterfly that it was ordained to become, it must go through five stages of development before it can emerge into its true being.  Finially, it is ready to emerge and reveal itself - or “pupate”- to the world.  A caterpillar must go through these stages (or obstacles) because its original skin that it was hatched with cannot support the massive growth that is needed for it to become a butterfly.  Because of this, it must make a new, larger skin underneath its outer skin.  Then, when it’s ready, it "sheds" the old skin, and the newer, larger skin underneath is exposed, allowing it more room to grow.  From there, the caterpillar transforms itself into a beautiful adult butterfly. But when the butter emerges from its chrysalis or cocoon, it is still not ready to fly quit yet.  It still has to rely on itself.  It must pump fluids from its own abdomen through the veins in its wings, which causes the wings to expand to their full size allowing it to be able to fly high.

So what can we humans learn from the metamorphosis of the caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly?  Well first of all, we must allow ourselves to engage life to the fullest.  We have to take responsibility for our own adult growth and development and stretch into the person that we want to become.  The moral of the story is this:  Something that was once unattractive – the caterpillar – over time developed itself into something marvelous to the human eye.  So this goes to demonstrate to us that with time, self-improvement, dedication, commitment, and diligence, we too can resurrect ourselves and change or make a major transformation or makeover in our lives. 

So what do you need to put behind you these days?  What do you need to let go of so that you can develop into the beautiful butterfly that you were meant to be?   After going through some things in life – disappointments, hurts, resentments, setbacks, etc., - I know that you are now ready to put it behind you and experience a new beginning.  Remember, the butterfly had to rely on itself; it had to actually pump fluids from its own abdomen to sustain live to its wings – a necessary component for it to fly.   So when you are feeling down, think of a beautiful butterfly and what it had to go through to become what it is now.  

It’s time for you to replenish yourself and take flight today! Start anew: love more, laugh more, and take the time to learn how to develop yourself into what you want to become. 

Your rebirth can start today.  Be Blessed!

Your Success Coach,

Dr. Amy
The Prescription To Reach Abundant Success

PERSONAL DEVELOPOMENT: WHAT I LEARNED ON MY JOURNEY TO SUCCESS FROM OPRAH AND ELANOR ROOSEVELT

Two women that I admire very much are Ms. Oprah Winfrey and the late former First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt

From Ms. Eleanor Roosevelt I learned, “For our success to be real, it must contribute to the success of others.” Moreover, “You get more joy out of giving to others, and should put a good deal of thought into the happiness you are able to give.” This is why I constructed a business model that provides services that helps others to grow and develop. My passion and purpose in life is to help others realize their dreams.  Ms. Roosevelt also taught me that, “Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only the true friends will leave footprints on your heart.”  She often said, “Ones philosophy is not best expressed in words, it is expressed in the choices one makes. In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves.”  In other words, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  It’s time to upgrade your thinking, get rid of the small mindedness, educated yourself, and develop a success mentality. One of the major philosophies that I adopted from Eleanor Roosevelt was her saying that “One of the best ways of enslaving a people is to keep them from education.”  My people were in slavery for a long time and I refuse to be a confined in any way or fashion.  Unfortunately, too many people today are still enslaved by their very own way of thinking.  Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and many, many others fought for our civil rights and gave their lives so that we do not have to be inferior.  It’s time to make some changes in your life.  It’s time to do your part.  It’s time to remove the bondage!  Take time to expand your mind, take time to develop yourself, take time to read between the lines, take time to gain wisdom.  Take the time to educate yourself and find your purpose in life.  Develop your plan of action.

From Ms. Oprah Winfrey I learned that our destiny is bigger than anything we can ever create by ourselves.  Back in the 1980’s when I was in high school Oprah became instrumental to me because she demonstrated to me that there was indeed a way out and provided a roadmap to follow to live a more prosperous lifestyle.  Because I grew up in a rural area down South and she did too, I knew her success model – with all of its trials and tribulations - was worth emulating.  In choosing to follow in her path, I believed deep down inside that if she could do it, then I could do it too.  She said, “I knew there was a way out.  I knew there was another kind of life because I had read about it.  I knew there were other places and there was another way of being.” 

In spite of all that Oprah has gone through she never lost faith.  She said, “What I know for sure is that behind every catastrophe there are great lessons to be learned.  Among the many that we as a country need to get is that as long as we play the ‘us’ and ‘them’ game, we don’t evolve as people, as a nation, as a planet.”   Desiring abundant success and financial independence is not something to be ashamed of.  Oprah instilled in me that “What material success does is provide you with the ability to concentrate on other things that really matter. And that is being able to make a difference, not only in your own life, but in other people’s lives.”  By following her lesson, I have been blessed to be able to purchase a home for my father to live in, and was able to acquire a townhome to assist my younger brother. Are you wondering how we know when we are on the road to success? “You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job and not get paid for it,” at least that’s what I learned from Oprah.  I later realized that the only people who will have a problem with you pursuing abundant success and financial independence are those people who have given up on themselves; and in turn, they will speak negative about you and spit their venom at you – with their cynicism and antagonistic words - as often as you allow them to.  Instead of giving energy to the negative Nelly’s (negative people that is), I chose a long time ago to only focus my attention on feeling love, inner peace, and those things that I wanted to achieve in life (my success plan) and adopted this philosophy from Oprah: “What I know is, that if you do work that you love, and the work fulfills you, the rest will come.”  I placed that advice at the pinnacle of my success plan and followed it literally.          

So I have to ask you the big million dollar question.  Whose advice are you listening too?  Whose footprints or blueprints are you following in?  Have they accomplished some of the things that you want to do in your life?  If the answer is ‘no,’ then he or she may NOT be the right person for you to be listening too at this time.  Let me share a little secret of life with you:  Don’t listen to people with the same problem(s) as you, rather, listen to people who have solutions.   Follow people who have travelled down the road you want to embark upon and can tell you the appropriate turns (success suggestions) to make and what bumps (obstacles) and pot holes (challenges) to avoid.  Success always leaves clues.  Be sure that you are following the right path and not running from your inner fears and sullenness in life.  Oprah enlightened me that “Whatever you fear most has no power; it is your fear that has the power.” 

Who are the people that have blessed you or added value to your life?  Why not take a moment to send them a note of gratitude. Be Blessed!

Your Success Coach,

Dr. Amy

The Prescription To Reach Abundant Success

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT: DO YO KNOW THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY?

Are you acting like a rational and mentally sound person these days? 

In psychology, we define insanity as, "A derangement of the mind or a state of the mind usually occurring as a specific disorder (as schizophrenia)."  It can also be defined as extreme folly or unreasonableness, or doing something utterly foolish or unreasonable.  Albert Einstein said it best when he defined insanity as “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”  If you are still doing the same thing you were doing at this time last year - and nothings changed (or maybe has even gotten worse) - then you are headed  down a road of INSANITY!  

Do you remember William Shakespeare's play Hamlet? It depicts insanity in its truest form and is therefore considered a piece of literature.  If you can remember the storyline of Hamlet, it follows a vein of madness that begins with Hamlet’s Uncle Claudius' murdering his brother King Hamlet.  Claudius' murdering of his brother, the king is the first murderous act of mental illness in the story and it sets into course the madness of many other characters.  Can you recall why Claudius murdered his brother?  Well, he murdered his brother because he wanted to marry his wife (yes his sister-in-law) – insanity.  In the play the title character Hamlet, who is also the Prince of Denmark, and the protagonist in the play pretends to be completely insane as he plots to get revenge on his Uncle Claudius for killing his father. He was also extremely mad with his mother (the Queen Gertrude) for marrying his Uncle so quickly – within a year - after his father’s death.   Hamlet becomes neurotic about acting insane for the sake of revenge.  His display of mental illness allows him to prove to himself that his Uncle Claudius did, in fact, murder his father; thus, providing him with the means to prove Claudius' guilt. This overall madness is the cause of the eventual tragedy in almost all of the characters in the play. 

Here are some basic examples of acting insane in today's environment:  (1) If you are still behaving in an inappropriate manner (not giving attention to, using condescending words, talking down to your partner like a child, disrespecting the other person) in your relationship and wondering why your relationship is not growing, or your partner does not seem to admire you, then you are probably doing insane things.  (2) If you are hoping to get promoted on your job yet you are still going to work every day and not making a difference at work by taking on additional responsibilities, going the extra mile, and making yourself standout from the crowd – then you are probably thinking in an insane manner.  (3)   If your children are over the age of thirteen and you are still treating them like an eight year old, still spanking or “beating,” and still trying to control their every thought and behavior then you are acting in an insane manner.  

The moral of the story is this:  stop acting insane!  Take the time to reassess some aspects of your life.  It’s time to make some changes in your life.  It’s time to reinvent yourself for the better.  The New Year is slowly approaching and there’s no better time than now to start anew. Ask yourself, “What will I be doing differently next year this time?”  What goals will I be working towards?  What do I need to “stop” doing?  If you’re not reaching the kind of success you imagine in the areas that are important to you, one or more of the following things may still be true for you: 

1. You don't have written goals;
2. You don't have a vision for your future;
3. You don't have a success plan;
4. You're not self-aware of how your action and behavior impacts others; and/or 
5.  You have a true fear of success. 

Don't follow in Hamlets footsteps, start making some worthwhile changes in your life today!  Start acting like a rational and mentally sound person so you can get on the journey towards success.  Change your thinking and behavior, so you can change your life! 

Your Success Coach,

Dr. Amy 
The Prescription To Reach Abundant Success