Dr. Amy's Strategies to Get Promoted in Corporate America

Have you ever wondered how you can get a leg up on the competition when it comes to getting promoted on your job?  Well let me tell you, if you want to get promoted in Corporate America today, you must develop a plan of action and take the time to learn the process and the strategies to get you to the top.

To get the edge over the competition today, employees are left with no choice but to add value to their qualifications with important skills that exhibit their true potential.  What we are seeing in the workforce today is an overall development and expansion of the individual employee.  Today, you have to be able to “show” and “tell” what you can do in order to stand out from the crowd.  In the past these all important advance skills or what we call “soft skills” were acquired over a lifetime through trial & error.  However, in the workforce today, we are seeing a major shift in what is considered the norm.  Today, many well-informed and “progressive-minded” people are taking charge of their own careers and taking the smart step up the corporate ladder by mastering their soft skills or “people skills” – through training seminars, conferences, and one-on-one coaching engagements conducted by companies like mine.  They are utilizing new strategies to position themselves to rapidly move up the corporate ladder when the opportunity presents itself.   Can you believe people are actually strategically planning their promotions and moves up the corporate ladder well in advance?        

Documented studies conducted by Harvard University and Stanford Research Institute, report that technical skills & knowledge contribute to only 15% of an individual’s success; while soft skills make up the remaining 85%. Isn’t that amazing?  This evidence has supported the human resources stand of “people” skills, being the first point of impact when two individuals meet. 

So what I am saying here is that you can actually get ahead in your company by developing your soft skills or “people skills.” Soft skills are defined as:  personal attributes that enhances an individual’s relationships, job performance, and future career projections.  These are competencies such as:      

·        Effective Communication Skills & Active Listening,

·        Self-Management & Emotional Intelligence;

·        Team Building & Conflict Resolution;

·        Becoming Politically Savvy; and

·        Exercising Leadership - just to name a few

Unlike hard skills or “technical skills,” which tend to be specific to a certain type of job or task, soft skills are what will get you promoted and noticed.  To learn these skills, you may need to change your mindset just a bit, and I recognize that any type of change can be a challenge.  But if you want to move up on the corporate ladder, then you must be willing to do it! Because if you are one of those people who still believe that the “senior” person or the most “talented” person is the one getting promoted within companies today, then it’s time to give you a wake-up call.  (Come in and listen up ... here's some free advice:  you are probably NOT the person getting selected for the high-level promotions within your organization because you do not stand out from the bunch with a helping attitude; your communication skills are probably not strong, and/or you are not known by upper management.  Moreover, you are probably still under the unrealistic expectation that you should get promoted because you are the most senior person in the department. Well, let me tell you, it is not reality!  Being competent at your job is only a small factor in the promotability equation; remember everyone else is probably just as knowledgeable as you.   Accordingly, you must find a way to stand out from the crowd and add value to your department and the organization.

As I evaluate my client organizations and look around to see who actually gets promoted within organizations, I have noticed that it is not always the smartest person.  Rather, it is often the person who is best known and most LIKED within the organization.  Yes, you heard it right, the people getting the big time promotions today are the ones willing to play the promotional “political” game.  Here’s the secret:  To successfully win at the promotions game, you must first learn how the game is played and what techniques & strategies it takes to win. Your challenge along the way will be to:

     §    Adopt a new success mindset about the process;

§    Refine your strategic moves and soft skills along the way; and

§    Have someone else- within the organization- to be a champion for you. 

Remember, in today’s work environment, it is not just what you know, it is,   “ What you know - combined with WHO knows you!!!” Yes, believe it or not, in order to climb the corporate ladder and actually GET PROMOTED.….. “several” people must know you & the quality of your work.  You must find people who can actively champion your work – and this is how people are being recognized and promoted within organizations today.  They find managers and leaders who can promote them and get the word out about their skills, abilities, and can-do attitudes. In view of this, you have to learn how to aggressively network your way through your organization to get the attention of key decision-makers and upper management! 

Here are my top ten recommendations to get promoted in your career :

(1)     Start with a change in mindset

a.     First, recognize and accept that you will need to make a few changes in your mindset, behavior, and actions

b.    Develop strong soft skills-i.e, communication skills, emotional intelligence skills, and active listening skills.

c.     Become a master at conflict resolution and helping to solve other people’s problems

(2)     Determine where you want to be on the corporate ladder, and then develop a specific plan to help you to get there!

(3)    Focus on your personal development & growth: 

a.  Have a formal 360-degree assessment review to get feedback from your boss, your peers, your customers, and friends on your strengths and areas that you may need to improve in and/or work on.    

b.  Develop the attitude & attributes that upper management looks for in their top talented employees. 

·  Become big picture focused;

·  Think corporate culture;

·  Think team instead of “I;”  

·  Be able to think on your feet;

(4)     Become politically savvy.  Start acting the part and dressing like the person you want to become.

(5)    Be willing to take on more responsibility and excel at customer relationships and customer service

(6)     Have someone within the organization to be your champion

(7)     Find out what people in the position(s) you desire DID to get to where they are.

a.     What training classes did they take?

b.    What types of stretch assignments did they volunteer for?

c.     What positions did they have prior to prepare them for the seat they are sitting in now?

d.  Who did they use as a mentor or coach?

  

(8)    Volunteer to do “STRETCH ASSIGNMENT” or to work on other projects within your organization so you can work with people from different departments.  This is vitally important because you want to allow as many people as possible to get to know who you are and what level of work you are capable of.

(9)     Encourage & Motivate Yourself.  Learn how to sell or ‘promote’ yourself in any given situation, while maintaining a high level of personal integrity at the same time. Keep this in mind:  Motivation is the fuel you’ll use to power yourself up the corporate ladder. You’ll also need to know how to communicate your ideas in crisp, concise terms along the way.

(10)   Hire a success coach or executive coach to help you map out your success plan and get you trained up and developed for the next big promotion at your organization. 

I look forward to hearing about your successes on your job and in your business.

Your success coach,

Dr. Amy

Psychologist | Personal Development Expert | International Trainer

I am here to help when you need my assistance. Contact my office at (703) 873-7086 or via email at dramy@amyhymes.com  to learn more about our Corporate Coaching Packages - You will be elated with the results of one-on-one performance coaching!  

 Visit us on the web at:

 www.hymesandassociates.com  

for a description of all of our Human Resource Consulting

& Corporate Training Services

In Honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Birthday

I am so grateful to Dr. King and all those whose shoulders I stand on today to be where I am in life.   

To all of those involved in the civil rights movement, I say thank you for fighting for my civil rights, which has allowed me to get to the place where I can live out my dreams.  Every day I am thoughtful of the suffering that so many people endured just to allow me – a little black girl from John’s Island, South Carolina to live the big life that I currently have.  I am appreciative every day for the opportunities that I currently have in my life and vow never to take any of the liberties lightly.  I will be forever indebted to those who fought for my personal and social rights and endured so much pain, prejudice, and inequalities just to afford me the chances and possibilities that I have in my life today.

Thank you for the freedoms that I currently have.  I am so grateful that today, I too, have the opportunity to live the American dream!  Because of this, I made a promise to myself a few decades ago that I would never allow the struggles and lives lost in the fight for my civil rights go in vain.  I made a commitment to myself and to my parents a long time ago that I would take advantage of all the opportunities available to me. 

So when I think back to the struggles and obstacles I had to overcome to get to where I am in life today, I can keep in mind that it will never be comparable to the hardships and struggles made for us by the men and women who sacrificed their lives to afford us a seat at the table. Accordingly, in his 1968 essay entitled "A Testament of Hope," Dr. King wrote, “People are often surprised to learn that I am an optimist.  They know how often I have been jailed, how frequently the days and nights have been filled with frustration and sorrow, how bitter and dangerous are my adversaries.  They expect these experiences to harden me into a grim and desperate man.  They fail, however, to perceive the sense of affirmation generated by the challenge of embracing struggle and surmounting obstacles.” 

In the words of Dr. King, “We must never lose infinite hope”  Know that you can still fulfill your greatness by overcoming your personal obstacles!  It’s time to awaken the Dr. King spirit in all of us!  Let’s serve others and help as many people in our daily path to make positive changes in their lives and pursue their individual life dreams.  Are you with me?

Your Success Coach,

Dr. Amy Hymes, PhD

Psychologist | Author | Business Owner | Speaker & Trainer

When Dealing with Negative Spouses and Family Members

…… you have to find a way to gently lead them to information on how to shift their thinking and upgrade their mindset.

When we have negative people who are very close to us in our lives it can sometimes feel like sleeping with the enemy.  Sometimes it can seem like everything that we do to take one step forward in life, that person will find a way to smash the positive idea and highlight the negatives - thus pushing us two steps back.  So in order to maintain your sanity, you have to find a way to gently lead that person to new information, while at the same time not allowing yourself to get caught up in their negative emotional state. You have to boldly state to them "I am attempting to make positive strides in my life and would prefer to focus on the positive aspects  of the situation."  Let them know that you would prefer that the two of you grow together; however, you are willing to take the lead on this journey until they are willing to join you - keeping in mind that we cannot change another human being.  The desire to change must come from that individual.      

Dealing with negative people in general can be annoying; but managing negative spouses and family members does have a way of sucking the life out of you and hurting you to the core if you don't find a way to effectively deal with it.  Accordingly, you must always be willing and prepared to handle them with white gloves.  

Five Strategies to Deal with your Negative Spouse and/or Family Members:

1)  First and foremost, rather than trying to change the person, instead focus on uplifting and upgrading yourself and your knowledge.  You should remind the person that you love them; however, you would prefer to see more of the optimistic side of their personality.  After stating that, then share with them that you are not up to the battle for a disagreement, sarcastic comments, or anything that is unsubstantiated or opposing  to what you are about.  Instead, invite them to give or share their opinions only AFTER they have taken the time to research or study the subject and are able to have an intelligent conversation about the issue.   2)  Second, do not follow them up!  Let them know that you REFUSE to go down the negative road with them.  Announce that from this moment forward, you will be doing one of three things when they start down the negative path.  
            a.   You will remind (or warn) them once that you are receiving or hearing the 
                  information they are sharing as "negative" and allow them an opportunity to stop 
                  or change the behavior. 
            b.   If they do not cease with the negativity, you will politely gather your
                  belonging and leave the room to retreat to somewere by yourself.
            c.   If via telephone, inform them that you will be ending the conversation
                  immediately, and then hang up.

3) Third, learn to strengthen and encourage yourself.  Oftentimes we get extremely hurt by the negative things that our love ones say and do to us because we somehow gave away our  power to them and got to a point where we rely on them to encourage us. So what you need to do is to learn how to encourage yourself!  Find motivated positive minded people who can support you in your plans.  Surround yourself with people who are doing positive things.  Get to a place of strong emotional intelligence where that loved one words can no longer hurt you. Get tough skin so you can continue to push their negative energy out of your space. 

4)  Fourth, continue to show respect for the person - through their negativity- while demanding it for yourself.  Do not make fun of them, rather, focus on finding a way to stay upbeat and positve through their negativity.   

5)  Fifth, sit down and ask them HOW you can help them to get through this temporary phase.  You want to pose this behavior as a "temporary" situation indicating that you believe that they will change over to the positive enlighted side very soon.

Remember, when dealing with negative love ones, it is very important to concentrate on yourself, your goals and desires, and your behavior rather than on theirs.  DO NOT ALLOW them to take you down a path that does not represent who you are or who you want to become.  Instead, continue to be positive and to take steps in the right direction every day towards your goals and they will eventually see that you are changing or have changed for the better.  What you will  notice is that they will eventually stop the negative talk around you because misery loves company.  So when they notice that their comments are no longer getting a negative response from you, they will choose to change or move on to someone else who will feed into or support their negativity.  

Remember, it's always important to invite them to change and come over to the side of inner peace and happiness as often as you can.    

Your success coach,

Dr. Amy

When Was the Last Time Something Took Your Breath Away?

Do you know what it feels like to have something totally take your breath away?  ... well a sunset just took mine away.  Yes, my breath was taken away on Friday night when the radiant orange, blushing red, and glistening gray sky parked itself right in front of me and slowly dissipated perfectly before my bare eyes into the night.  Because my mindset was in the right place - it became a very romantic experience. 

As the shades were changing, the color of the setting was like the  inside of the mango I had enjoyed for breakfast that morning, and I could taste the sweetness of the mango bursting inside my mouth; and it just lingered there for a while.  The sunset ran horizontally across the sky and suddenly dropped off magically into the melodic river, just behind the brush of the slightly bending trees. The ducks were there too, and let me tell you, they melodically put on a rhythmic marching show that amplified the ambiance and heightened the experience.  It was just what the doctor ordered:  peaceful, cathartic, invigorating, and free.  The aroma was breath taking and the encounter energizing.  It was peaceful, simple, and yet very vigorous and powerful!  And the good thing about it, it will do the same exact thing again the next day.  So it doesn't matter what went on today, the sun will still rise and set tomorrow.  For tomorrow is always waiting to be explored and experienced, it's just a matter of your mindset and how you plan to experience it!

Remember, the simple things in life are free:  they are there for our enjoyment, but sometimes we have to stop long enough to "smell the roses" and enjoy them along the way. So I challenge you today to take the time to find your breath of fresh air:  embrace it, cherish it, love it, and stop making things more complicated than it has to be.  And if nothing in your surrounding takes your breath away then it’s time for you to reassess what’s really essential to you, and what you are "viewing" as important on a daily basis.

Go out and enjoy life!  Have something take your breath away. Better yet, choose to experience something taking your breath away while  spending time with someone who makes your heart string tingle. Know that I care, I want to help, and I want to see you progress in life so you can reach your ultimate happiness and success.

Your Success Coach,

Dr. Amy

Psychologist|Coach| Entrepreneur  

dramy@amyhymes.com

Office:  (703) 873-7086

My Recommended Success Strategies Book List

Here are fifteen of my all time favorite Top Personal Development and Wealth Strategies  Books that I would Like to Recommend to You. 

Dr. Amy's Recomended Success Strategies Reading List: 

1. Yes You Can! Reaching Your Potential While Achieving Greatness
    by Dr. Amy Hymes, Dr. Warren Bennis, Jim Rohn, and others

2. The Power of Positive Thinking 
     by Dr. Norman Vincent Peele

3. As A Man Thinketh
      by James Allen 

4.  Think and Grow Rich
     by Dr. Napoleon Hill 

5.  The Five Major Pieces to the Life Puzzle & The Seasons of Life
     by Jim Rohn

6. The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth

     by Dr. M. Scott Peak

7.  Put Your Dream to the Test

     by John C. Maxwell

8. Are You Dumb Enough to Be Rich? The Amazingly Simple
     Way to Make Millions in Real Estate
     by William Barnett II

9. Secrets of the Millionaire Mind:Mastering the Inner
     Game of Wealth
     by T. Harv Eker

10. Rich Dad Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids
       About Money– That The Poor and Middle Class Do Not!
       by Robert T. Kiyosaki

11. Profit by Investing in Real Estate Tax Liens: Earn Safe,
      Secured, and Fixed Returns Every Time
      by Larry Loftis, Esq

12. The Richest Man in Babylon
     by George S. Clason

13. Cracking the Millionaire Code
      by Robert G. Allen and Mark Victor Hansen

14. The Master Key System  
      by Charles F. Haanel  

15. The Holy Bible 
        Be sure to take the time to study the books of:
      Proverbs | James | Hebrews  

Your Success Coach,

Dr. Amy Hymes, PhD

Psychologist | Management Consultant | Entrepreneur | Author 

Office:  (703) 873-7086

Dramy@amyhymes.com

The Fundamentals of Creating Healthy & Exciting Love Relationships

We recorded a show on Thursday entitled "How to Create Healthy and Exciting Love Relationships" and the feedback was overwhelming.  Almost all of the individuals who were at the taping of the show responded by sharing how the information shared enhanced their mindsets about what is required to create and maintain a healthy and exciting love relationship.  Accordingly, I decided to share a few of the highlighted points on the blog. 

Today we hear a lot about the high rate of divorce (45% - 50% rate) and how difficult it is to find the ideal partner.  In addition, more than ever we hear on the entertainment news channels and in the gossip media how men and women are having more-and-more affairs and stepping outside of their marriages.  But we made the decision to "debunk" the normal negative conversations and be among the select few shows to make the decision to focus all of our attention towards the positives, that is enhancing and upgrading  our love relationships.  I’m here to tell you that you can do this because you DESERVE to be in a quality affectionate love relationship.   

Now in case you are wondering what a “HEALTHY” relationship actually looks like - let me define and describe it for you: 

A healthy love relationship is one where you:

  Show RESPECT and SUPPORT for each other’s personal desires in life;

  Encourage each other to grow, develop, and try new things;

  Have vigorous & constructive  communication; where each person  LISTENS when the other person has something to say;

  SHARE responsibilities & decision-making, and you stay connected with each other (and not get stuck in a peaceful co-existence);

  Learn how to respectfully get through and RESOLVE CONFLICTS.

….. with a Healthy Relationship, the concentration should always be on  BUILDING LOVE, TRUST, LAUGHTER, & HAPPINESS!      

A couple also grows together by developing mutual goals and working together on ways to achieve them. Interestingly, it’s usually the journey toward the achieving the goals, and not necessarily the goals themselves, which help the relationship grow.  So a healthy relationship means you have a love relationship with another person where you offer , and are offered:  validation, understanding, and a sense of being VALUED intellectually, emotionally, and physically. Actually, the more you are willing to share and be shared with; the greater the degree of excitement and closeness you will experience.  

Of course you should also know how to recognize the signs of an UNHEALTHY relationship: 

Here are some of the "bad" signs that you should be aware of:

1.         If your partner ever puts you down, calls you names, criticizes you, or tries to intimidate you (you are NOT in a healthy love relationship).

2.         If your partner tries to control what you do, who you see, what you wear, or how you look  (you are NOT in a healthy love relationship).

3.         If he/she tries to keep you from seeing or talking to your family & friends or tries to ISOLATE you (you are NOT in a healthy love relationship).

4.         If he/she gets EXTREMELY jealous or possessive or EVER becomes violent, or uses THREATS or EMOTIONAL cruelty (you are NOT in a healthy relationship).

5.         If he/she has mood swings and gets very ANGRY & yells at you one minute, and then is sweet and apologetic the next (you are NOT in a healthy love relationship).

So I hope you get the point here, in a healthy love relationship the focus should always be on:  respect, compromise, sharing, exploring together, laughter, active listening, playful communication, and  an openness to give love and be loved!  You must always be flexible and open to change.  So keep this in mind:  A healthy relationship is not a power struggle; the two of you do not have to think the same way about everything. A healthy relationship is not symbiotic; meaning, you don’t have to feel the same way about all things. And, a healthy relationship is not one that is confined to a sexual relationship, but rather should be one that celebrates SHARING & EXPLORING.  To create a healthy and exciting love relationship it’s also very important to keep both physical intimacy (kissing, touching, holding hands) and emotional intimacy (connectedness, commitment, trust) alive.  

Unfortunately, so many people forget about intimacy. Emotional intimacy is one of the building blocks upon which great relationships and exceptional marriages are built.  INTIMACY has four characteristics: Caring, Communication, Commitment, & Common Values: Communication involves accurately conveying your feelings to each other without intimidation, worry of reprisal, or embarrassment.  Caring means being open, honest, and vulnerable to know and be known by your partner.  This level of caring is usually what can take couples to a soul mate connection that will naturally lead to understanding each other on a very deep level.  Commitment means being dedicated  to the well-being and development of each other. In my field, we usually say that there is no better definition of emotional intimacy than a connectedness that exists when two people are enjoying the benefits of commitment and trust toward each other. Common values means holding common fundamental beliefs and core values that results in you and another person seeing and “feeling” the world in the same way. 

 The goal of getting to "healthy relationship" staus is to work in agreement with each other and encourage progression –TOGETHER.    

So here are my top ten recommendations that you can follow to create a healthy & exciting Love Relationship:

First, and foremost YOU MUST BE OPEN FOR LOVE!  Be clear about what you want, and be clear in communicating your desires. Know your needs and speak up for them clearly. You should be able to express your needs directly to avoid any confusion. A relationship is not a guessing game. Many people, men as well as women, fear stating their needs and, as a result, camouflage them. When you do not communicate your needs and desires then the result ends up being disappointed at not getting what they want and anger at a partner for not having met their (unstated) needs. Closeness cannot occur without honesty. Your partner is not a mind reader, so get in the habit of expressing your needs.

Second, Maintain Self-respect and Self-esteem. It’s easier for someone to like or love you and to be around you when you like yourself. So start by learning how to upgrade your own self-concept.   

Third, Determine How Both of You Can Get What you Need and What you Want!  Be honest with yourself; be honest with your thoughts & feelings; take the time to learn your partners emotional cues; and be sensitive to what your partner really likes.  

Fourth, View Yourselves as a Team, which means you are two unique individuals bringing different perspectives and strengths. You must have respect, respect, respect for each other.

Fifth, Learn How to Manage Differences and Conflict.  This is a major KEY to success in a relationship. Understand this: disagreements don’t sink relationships. Name-calling, negativity, low-self esteem of one partner does. So, you have to learn how to handle the negative feelings that are the unavoidable byproduct of the differences between two people.

Sixth, Solve Problems as They Arise. Don’t let resentments simmer. Most of what goes wrong in relationships can be traced to hurt feelings, leading partners to erect defenses against one another and to become fast enemies.  You have to listen, truly listen to your partner’s concerns and complaints without judgment. Remember to always try to look at things from your partner’s perspective as well as your own.

Seventh, If you don’t understand or like something your partner is doing, ask about it and why he or she is doing it. Talk and explore, don’t assume.

Eighth, Work Hard at Maintaining Closeness. Closeness doesn’t happen by itself. In its absence, people drift apart and are susceptible to affairs. A good relationship isn’t an end goal, it is a journey that never ends.  You must work at keeping your relationship fresh and healthy via regular attention.  

Ninth, Don’t Confuse Sex with Love. Especially in the beginning of a relationship, attraction and pleasure in sex are often mistaken for love.

Finally, NEVER, EVER, ever go to sleep ANGRY, no matter what!

Also, it is very important to remember to:   

a.      Set aside time for each other.

b.      Make a habit of laughing together whenever you can. 

c.       Have playful communication in your relationship!

d.      Keep physical and emotional intimacy alive

e.      Use your senses to keep your stress level in check and your emotional triggers under control. 

Remember,on a fundamental level, relationships represent a search for that wholeness, a search for completeness and the ability to feel as one with another human being. In many ways, this striving for unity with another person is what we all are striving for! 

Your Success Coach,

Dr. Amy 

P.S.  This particular show will air in the new 2011 season, look out for it! 

Remember to post your comments and/or thoughts on the blog. 

    

Power in Numbers, Go Out and Vote!

Today is November 2, 2010 and it is time to go out and cast your vote.  Although I will be supporting the Democratic Party it doesn’t matter much to me who you vote for as long as you get out there and let your voice be heard.  Casting your vote is vitally important because you can help determine not just the outcome of this election, but our country's future.

On yesterday, I received an email from President Obama's camp reminding me that

“You made the difference in 2008. Now, once again, you can defy the conventional wisdom that says you can't overcome the cynicism of our politics; you can't overcome the special interests and the big money; you can't tackle our biggest challenges. This movement has never backed down from a tough fight -- and we're not about to start. We've got to keep moving America forward -- but I need allies in office to make it happen. I need you to make sure you get at least three of your friends to vote with you -- it is simply the most important thing you can do to make sure we can keep bringing about change.  Because of you, there are families all across the country who will never have to choose between losing their home and treating an illness. Because of you, millions of parents can look at their kids and know the opportunity of a college education is within reach. Because of you, a business owner got a small business loan and is keeping her doors open. And because of you, thousands of our brave men and women are home from fighting in Iraq.  I know that even with these changes -- and the progress you've fought for -- too many families are still struggling. We have so much more to do. And that's exactly why America cannot afford to go back. We must continue to move forward, and the decisions voters make in your area will determine which direction this country takes for generations.  We want to keep taxes low for the middle class, so you can pay your bills.  We want to give tax breaks to American companies who create jobs and spur innovation right here in America, not make it easier for them to ship jobs overseas. We will fight efforts to privatize Social Security, and stop the other side from handing over the retirement savings of a generation to Wall Street.  We refuse to go back to the days when big oil and insurance companies wrote their own rules and ran up record profits, while you paid for it at the pump or faced bankruptcy as health bills piled up.”

So I’m going to leave you now as I go to my voting center to cast my ballot.  Make sure you go out and do the same! 

Your Success Coach,

Dr. Amy